Wednesday, May 28, 2008

A little intro

I sometimes wonder if I am completely nuts. Usually my 13 year old DD grounds me with comments like: "Yes, Mom, you are!" This time? She decides to tell me that she "cannot change what is or is not my destiny, she can only support my choices"--since when did she get so smart?

Here is all the crazy intro info: I had a pretty good future back in the day--graduated a semester early from HS, went to college early--planned to become a hotshot photojournalist the likes of which you'd see in National Geographic. What happened? First semester of college I discovered that I was pregnant. I love my daughter BUT I did have to make some concessions to make life work. Her Dad and I share custody and I (never learning from my mistakes) was still a bit of a wild child at 23, went to a friends "leaving for law school party"...little did I know that the party would lead son--yup--I am the single mother of 2! At some point in those 9 months I realized that I needed to get my act together and start acting like a good parental figure, a good role model and so forth--shortly after I had my son I went back to school. So ten years after I received my HS diploma I received my BS in Marketing--unfortunately a BS in Marketing is just that in today's economy--BS!

Post high school I worked at various optical retailers just making a living until something better came along--here I am 13 years later and I am still working at an optical store, selling glasses and fixing oozing glasses (yes, glasses CAN ooze!) Last year a friend put a bug in my ear about law school. At first I thought she was crazy and brushed it off. Then I started looking at law school websites and reading blogs. Then I applied for and received the LSAC fee waiver and it's been all downhill from there! I am not trying to get into a Tier 1 school--I just want to go to THE only law school in my local geographic area and that is where all my indecision and current craziness starts.

I want something better for my family and I, I think I would do well in law--would love to do some type of child advocacy, family law, domestic violence type work eventually--that kind of stuff fascinates me. I think I could manage the work some days but others I wonder. I know a current 1L, going to the school I am hoping to attend, and I have barely heard from him in the last 6 weeks--he doesn't even have time for a 5 minute phone call AND he is single and doesn't have any kids to chase around.

My biggest indecision stems from the idea of what I have to do to go to law school. Due to my current work schedule and flexibility issues with my current employer--I will have to quit my current job. AND looking at my friend, who also doesn't have a job, I think how could I even possibly attempt this with a job--how could I even possibly attempt this with 2 kids (they are 8 and 13 but still...)--how could I possibly attempt this after being out of school for so long? What am I thinking-am I completely crazy? If I go to law school I will begin paving the way from my families future--I will be happier in a law career, I will be able to support us better with a larger income (which, trust me, even on the lowest end of the pay scale, has to be better than what I am doing now), I will love my job if I get to help others who are living through situations that I have survived myself--how gratifying will that be?? BUT I have to get through 3 years of hell getting there--working my butt off for 3 years, studying and reading constantly--barely being available to my kids, stressed constantly...well, in reality those issues aren't a ton different now! I am constantly stressed due to money, work issues, I work a lot of inflexible hours. The only difference will be the school work....

Maybe I am crazy, but I am thinking it's going to be worth it!

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