Today

So today I am beginning to doubt myself completely. First I think--'just give up on law school, it wasn't right for you'--then I think--'just take out more loans, you can work hard to pay them back' or 'forget law school, just go for your MBA' or 'there is always the paralegal certificate program' or 'optician isn't sooo bad' or 'working while going to school wouldn't be THAT bad, people do it all the time'...I keep going back and forth and back again...I just want someone to tell me what to do--isn't that insane. I am plenty old enough to make my own decisions.

On the 4th before the fireworks we spent some time at my neighbors house and there was a law student there--(how is it that I keep meeting people who go to my school?) is that a sign or is it just a coincidence? We talked a bit about my predicament and she said 'just make sure you love the law before you take the leap, if you don't love it you will hate the next 3-4 years'. So my new question to you is how do I know if I love the law? I did not grow up thinking about becoming a lawyer, it has not been my dream for years upon years. I began thinking about this a year ago. This is the most invested I have ever been in thinking about grad-school type options. I never went very far in discussing or applying for MBA programs. I have always read about law type stuff all the time--both fiction and non-fiction. I wanted to be a journalist when I was younger and was a communications/poly sci double major when I first started school. Our countries history has always fascinated me and that is mostly a history behind our legal system.

My only options beyond law school would be an MBA and maybe a certification to teach because an MBA doesn't excite me at all (a JD does...) or getting a Masters/PHD in history to teach college level. The Masters/PHD program that I looked into would take me about 7 years to complete...again, it doesn't excite me as much as getting a law degree does.

I still haven't applied for a GradPlus loan--my credit score isn't fabulous so I don't know if that will go through but maybe I should just give it a shot--if I take out loans and work part time this year I can apply to a bunch of scholarships for next year and see what I can get for my second and third year. I can also work my tail off and get a scholarship based on grades for my second and third years. I guess it will not hurt to apply, all the loan company can do is say no, right?

edited to add: I know that I should be thankful that I already got through the admissions process--many don't get as far as I have...maybe I should just suck it up, take some loans, get a new part-time job (now, and work 2 jobs until school starts) and work my butt off to get what I want--there are too many people out there who never get a chance to reach their potential--I shouldn't whine about a stupid scholarship...